From a Teen’s Perspective: Traveling together towards independence

Throughout high school, and especially as we approach graduation, it’s important for us teenagers to expand our independence. There are many amazing new opportunities that come with growing up, like getting a driver’s license or voting.

However, coming of age also comes with risk. When we do things without our parents, we’re often more vulnerable. Taking independent journeys is important to our growth but can also be frightening without a parental safety net.

Last weekend, I attended an EDM concert at the Cow Palace in Daly City. I was thrilled to have such an adult experience. My friends and I bought the tickets, selected a spot in the crowd, chose when we wanted to leave, and found a ride home without any parental involvement. It felt like a necessary step in my development. After all, college is fast approaching, and before I know it I’ll have extensive freedom (and all the responsibilities that come with it).

The next morning, as I revisited the events of the night before, I realized how much my friends allowed me to safely and bravely test my independence. Throughout the concert, I knew I could count on them to have my back, whether I needed help with logistical issues (tickets, rides, etc.) or courage to just live in the moment.

We’re at a critical moment in our lives where we must gain the skills and confidence to live independently. However, it can be hard to build self-reliance without the support of trusted friends.

In many ways, friends provide a transitional pillar of support — not as involved as a parent but still reliable. They can act as guides as well as companions, not just fun to hang out with but also beneficial to learn from.

I recommend figuring out which friends make you feel comfortable exploring your independence. Oftentimes it’s the friends who are always there for you yet push to try new things they know will ultimately be good for you. Surround yourself with people who uplift your journey towards autonomous adulthood by providing you support but also the space to grow.

All of us are going through the same developmental process. We should encourage and look out for each other as we advance down the same road towards independence.

I feel incredibly lucky to have found friends who accelerate my journey to self-confidence and self-reliance with compassion and joy, and I hope that all of my readers have people in their lives who can help them on their journeys, as well.

Got any topics you want me to cover? Email dylanclarklanier@gmail.com with your requests!

Dylan Lanier is a senior at Menlo-Atherton High School; his column appears weekly.

Stock photo by freepik