From a Teen’s Perspective: Wading into freedom

College, which many teens view as the land of ultimate freedom, is growing nearer on the horizon. And as the days get warmer and school winds down, the urge to fly from the nest becomes ever stronger.

Sometimes it feels silly that college-bound 18-year-olds are still confined to restrictions like curfews. As we straddle the line between childhood and adulthood, it’s important to respect these limits but gradually reduce them in order to acclimate to independent living.

For example, my typical curfew is midnight. However, last weekend was my senior prom, so I asked my parents if I could stay out a bit later to celebrate the milestone event. Thankfully they agreed, and I got to experience a night closer to the reality of college life while still having the security of my family and home waiting for me.

By “wading” into freedom with incremental expansions of independence, we allow ourselves to practice living on our own so that we won’t feel as overwhelmed once college begins.

Additionally, parents show their kids that they trust them by giving them greater freedom. That trust builds mutual respect and encourages healthy habits.

For example, the other night I stayed out late and shirked some of my responsibilities the next day because I was too tired. I’m glad I had that experience because now I have a better understanding of how to manage my time and balance fun with work.

Even better, I gained that experience in a low-pressure environment — if I had neglected opportunities in college, the situation might have been worse. Providing space to learn about independent living in high school improves teens’ abilities to make smart choices and understand their needs when they actually begin living on their own.

In addition, teens are a lot more likely to communicate their plans and reach out if they need help when they know their parents support them in their activities. It’s important to us that our parents respect our process of growing up and allow us to explore on our own.

We want to be individuals, but we would love to have the encouragement from the people who prepared us well for our journey into a world without childhood rules.

I recommend teens talk with their parents about what steps they can take to expand their independence in the months leading up to college, as well as how they can explore this freedom in a way that strengthens trust and respect.

Got any topics you want me to cover? Email dylanclarklanier@gmail.com with your requests!

Dylan Lanier is a senior at Menlo-Atherton High School; his column appears weekly.

Stock image by Freepik